Hi, Shows like Secret Life, Gossip Girl, 90210 and many others make it seem like everyone is having sex. In Secret Life by season two every single virgin on that show had lost their virginity; even Grace, “the Christian” and initially an advocate for “waiting until marriage.” It seems like even the strongest of the pack isn’t strong enough against the forces of lust and teenage hormones.

These days sex is everywhere; in our music; on our t.vs; in the movies; on the covers of our magazines, newspapers, books and on the web. Sex sells; and everyone is selling it.
Most of the cool celebrities like Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Pink, Beyonce, the Pussycat Dolls and others are sacrificing their self-respect just to sell records. Don’t make them your role-models.
Celebrities like Jamie Lyn Spears and movies like “Juno” make teen pregnancy seem so simple and easy; but being a parent will be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.
I get it; sex is sexy and sexy is cool; but I think abstinence is power, happiness and freedom. This momentary pleasure can come at a very high price.
Defying the “norm” by not doing it; isn’t going to be easy at all. It may even seem like all your friends are doing it and its no big deal. Truth is though; it is the biggest deal of your life. When, where, how you make that decision to do it and who you do it with will change everything. There is a responsibility to having sex before you are ready; there are consequences. Sure they talk about how you can protect yourself from STD’s and getting pregnant; and they are lots of ways; but they never talk about protection from the spiritual/emotional element of having sex; how sex will change your life forever; how you feel about your self; how you will be perceived and respected by others and how it will affect your marriage in the future, among other things.
God created us with purpose; everything about us, everything under the sun has purpose; even sex. Sex is a spiritual experience meant to be shared but not just with any or many partners but that special one; the person God created just for you.

These days that very idea sounds like a fairy tale; yeah right; like I am Snow White waiting to be awaken by Prince Charming. Well I know for a fact; that it is true; because I have found my Prince Charming; and they are many others out there who have found theirs too. Sadly though I had already given a bite out of my apple time and time again; so by the time I found “the one;” my gift to him was a half eaten apple with multiple bites in it. I had to carry the guilt and disappointment in myself about that for a long while before I could forgive myself for my mistakes and give myself to him wholly and the way God intended me too.

If I could go back in the past and give myself “the sex talk” and talk about the consequences of having sex at the wrong time of my life with the wrong person(s), no contraceptive could protect you from, I would.
The characters on t.v; they don’t accurately show the full weight of the decision to have sex too soon. The weight is a lot heavier than you think and they’d care to admit. My advice is to wait. It is a hard decision to commit to but you will be happier for it; and you will be so glad you stood your ground in the future; when you see the joy God rewards you with in a happy, blessed marriage and family life.
At this age; it always seems as though now will last forever but it won’t, you won’t be 16 forever, the people in your life now, all of them won’t be a part of your life forever. Don’t make decisions about what’s best for you and your future based on what others think; because they don’t have to carry the weight of your decisions with them wherever they go, you do.

Take this time in your life to get to know yourself better, have good clean fun, surround yourself by people who will help you grow into the young woman God designed you to be. Shine bright; don’t let your light fade. Have an adult who is mature and wise that you can ask all your questions to and you can learn from. Your friends, who are going through the same stuff as you, aren’t the best people to received guidance from. I pray you make the right decisions as you continue on your journey to womanhood. The decisions you make now will determine the level of happiness your life will be filled with in your future. God Bless.

Feel free to ask any more questions you may have about anything.

Check out these links below:

http://www.sexetc.com
http://www.avert.org
http://www.choice4truth.com
http://www.teengrowth.com

Websites on Abstinence:
http://www.ampartnership.org/abstinence_resources/abstinence_education.asp

Here’s a pretty cool article you can read:

http://www.allaboutworldview.org/premarital-sex.htm

Bibles Verses that talk about sex:

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins people commit are outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (TNIV, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; (TNIV, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (English Standard Version, 1 Corinthians 7:1-5)