Hey, I was wondering if you can help me with a slight issue I have. Here’s the situation, I’m an 18 year old student studying abroad while my parents and brothers still live where we grew up and my sister has migrated to the States with hopes of making a better life for herself as well as her family. Because of my move abroad I’ve developed a much stronger love for my family especially my brothers. The bond between my brothers and I is much stronger than it ever was before, however I can’t say the same for my sister, its almost as if I don’t have one, when people hear me speak of her they’re shocked to hear I have a sister. I find this very disturbing because I’m a very family oriented person and sisters are supposed to be, as they say ‘as thick as thieves’ but she’s always busy and the things I’m supposed to be comfortable talking to her about I’m not, I would rather tell my friends or something, which isn’t bad but she’s supposed to be the first person I should think about to talk to when something happens. To some extent I am to blame because we don’t keep in contact as much as we should but when I try sending emails the response I receive isn’t exactly satisfying to me. I just don’t understand why we don’t have that bond that I do with my brothers because we’re so much like in the things we like but I don’t think she realizes. Do you have any idea I can try to atleast to get closer to her because I really don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve run out of options. Joliel
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Hi Joliel,
Thank you for your question. I’m glad to hear that your move abroad has forged a stronger bond and deeper appreciation for your family. I understand completely where you are coming from, as my immediate family and I have moved away from the place I called home for 24 years.
Sometimes I miss having the option of visiting or calling my loved ones whenever I want to. I love my family very much.
In the case of your sister I’d start by telling her how you feel. I am sure she doesn’t mean to send you unsatisfactory e-mails. Sometimes it is not so easy keeping in contact with those you hold in your heart via e-mails. You can’t really express how you feel freely or talk freely. Maybe you two should set a date once a month to just chat via Skype or on the phone, catch up on all the juicy details of your life since the last time you spoke.
You said your sister has a family and she moved abroad for a better life. Your sister and I have a few things in common. Trying to make a better life for yourself, especially with a new family is not easy.
I have a 3 year old daughter who wants constant attention, is potty training (peeing and pooping all over the house), talks non-stop, doesn’t sleep much and calls after me 1000 times a day. I have a four-month old son, enough said. I have a husband who needs me; and still have dreams for myself (I desire to be a writer among other things). There is so much I want to do, I find myself constantly working till I finally crash in my bed at 11:00/12:00 at night.
Enough about me though, your question wasn’t about me, it’s about having the kind of relationship with your sister you want. Relationships like anything else in life requires work, it doesn’t just happen. So if you want to be closer to your sister, you make it happen. Call her more, e-mail her more, tell her you love her and you want to be able to talk to her about things sisters should be able to talk about. Also put yourself in her shoes, find out about her life, maybe she is not neglecting you on purpose. Maybe she is just at a stage in her life where keeping in contact is not the easiest thing to do. I am sure she loves you and is very proud of what you are doing with your life, be proud of her too.
I hope my advice helped and encouraged you in someway. I hope everything works out and your relationship with your sister grows stronger than ever.
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